I Still Love You
by MissyLyssie
Summary: Series of drabbles, told from John's POV. The first chapter is an explanation of what this is all about.
1. Explanation

This chapter is really just an extended authors note to explain what this really is.

I was randomly doing stuff at home when this idea popped into my head. I suppose it came from the fact that Elizabeth gets captured by the Asurans at the end of Lifeline, but she obviously isn't killed, considering her importance.

The main idea for these drabbles is that of a future situation. Each drabble takes place around a year after the previous one. Each drabble is John thinking, or possibly talking.

As I was writing these they made me sad. I hope that is a good thing!

Anyway I hope you like them! Happy reading and please review!


	2. It's Already Been A Year

I still can't believe you're gone...

I know that it's already been a year. One whole year. But I still can't believe it.

I know I should have moved on, but it's hard. Hard to love anyone else when the only one I want to think of is you.

I want to give up, but I keep going. If only for Sandi.

Sandi still asks for you, usually asking where you are, why you aren't here. It breaks my heart trying to explain.

I don't want to believe you are gone.

I still love you.


	3. Two Years On

I moved back to Earth.

Two years on and I still can't forget. Atlantis only made me think of you and how much you were a part of it.

It got too much, I had to leave. It was for my benefit as much as Sandi's.

Living on Earth isn't all bad. I may not be able to go to other planets but at least here Sandi can be with other kids.

She still dreams of you. I know because sometimes I sit up, watching her sleep and I hear her calling for her mum.

She looks so much like you, it hurts.

I still love you.


	4. Three Years Since It Happened

I met someone.

Three years since it happened, and I've finally been able to move on.

Her name is Kaycie. She's kind, loving and patient. And sometimes, she reminds me of you.

We got married two months ago.

Sandi won't accept her as mum, but she likes her. And sometimes I hear her telling Kay about you. About how beautiful and smart you were.

But she still dreams of you, calling out at night, pleading for you to come back. It breaks my heart, because I want the exact same thing.

I may have moved on but I still love you.


	5. Only Been Four Years

I have another daughter.

I know it's only been four years, but she wasn't planned, although she was a pleasant surprise.

Nevertheless it hurts having a little Sheppard that isn't yours. And knowing that there can't be any more that are.

Kaycie named the little girl Elizabeth. She knows what the name means to me. She knows what you mean to me.

Sandi cried when we told her the name. She's started asking for you again

We miss you so much.

I may have a family here now, but I still love you.


	6. Five Years Since We Saw You

I can't believe it!

Five years since we last saw you and they send word that they've found you!

The SGC rang telling me that you had been taken back to Atlantis. When they mentioned your name my world stopped.

I repeated your name out loud and Sandi's eyes lit up and she laughed. She actually, properly laughed for the first time since we lost you.

When I hung up the phone, I scooped her up ecstatically, spinning around.

Kaycie was there, in the doorway. I caught her eye and she nodded sadly, understanding. We always knew what would happen if this occurred, that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

Our marriage was over because I still love you.


	7. Almost The Same, Six Years On

I thought I was imagining things.

There you stood, looking almost the same six years on; standing outside my door. I could do nothing but gaze at you, wanting to pinch myself.

They kept you away from us for almost another year after you were found. Another year of anxiously waiting, hoping.

But here you are, tears in your eyes, saying hello for the first time in six years; all I can do is engulf you in a hug.

You begin to cry as I tell you how much I've missed you. I begin to cry as you ask what has happened while you were away.

A shriek of Mummy brings us back to reality as Sandi cannonballs on you.

I smile, because I don't mind that we were interrupted.

I have you back.

And I still love you

* * *

A/N - Yes I know that it's longer than a drabble. Lets call it a drabble and a half, shall we? Everything didn't fit in 100 words. 


	8. One Year After Your Return

Sometimes I think about families.

Only a year after your return I watch you with Sandi.

When we lost you she was only two. Now she's eight; independent and going to school. You may not have even been here for 5 years of her life, but you have a bond. There's a link that disregards everything, even your unfamiliarity with things that have happened.

I think about Kaycie and everything that happened with her. I'm grateful for your understanding about it all. I know she understands, although it's hard, considering little Libby is already three.

After you were gone I never thought there would be any more little Sheppards, but Libby proved me wrong.

I thought I knew that there would never be any more little Sheppards that were yours. Caleb proved me wrong once again.

We may have more in our family now, but you will always be first in my heart.

I will always love you


	9. Post Story Author's Note

Well that's over.

Who knew that one little idea would end up spanning over 800 words, and take almost five days to complete? Not me that's for sure.

So... I hope that everyone has enjoyed these. And I hope that the last 'year' wasn't too sucky. If it was, please leave your ideas on how to fix it in a review. I was really unsure about that one, which is why it took forever to finish.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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